Today, I had a bit of a 'brawl' with a friend of mine so I thought I would share some thoughts on the matter of friendship. (I've just realised that lots of my posts are getting quite deep!) I've been friends with this particular girl for a long time, but she is a young woman of very strong opinions, which I will explain in a minute.
So, the events of today got me thinking about whether this friendship was going to last much longer, and I started to worry. So my mum took me out for a coffee and we had a bit of a chat. And her words of wisdom were, "True friends are people you can argue with, but they will always forgive you for what you did, and vice versa." I thought this was a really good point, and really related to my situation (which I guess was the point), because this girl always seems to have something to complain about, whether it be her parents, siblings, school, homework. And, like I said, she is very strong in her beliefs and opinions, eg. she is 'always' right. But whenever she has a disagreement with someone, everyone bounces back and their friendship hasn't been altered.
Sometimes it may take a little longer for her to forgive, but it always works out.
Anyway, I realised that no matter how bumpy a friendship/relationship might be, it doesn't mean that you can't be friends anymore.
If any of you are going through a similar situation to me, my advice to you would be:
- Be the first to say sorry - this something that's sometimes really hard to do, but if you don't, they might not want to either. Most humans are naturally proud, myself included, but you need to be the bigger person and forgive them.
- Accept what you did wrong - there is nothing worse than receiving an apology that ends up sounding like, 'I'm really sorry. It wasn't my fault though!' No no no! You have to accept that you did something wrong as well, because otherwise it will probably make things worse.
- Don't let the other person make you feel like it was all your fault - it's hard to find a balance between accepting what you did, and not taking the complete blame, but this is very important. If you take all of the blame, then they will most likely wait for you to apologise first the next time, and they won't take any of the blame. I am someone who feels guilty if I upset any of my friends, and will end up letting everyone blame me. Do not let this happen! (unless it was actually all your fault)
- And finally, sort it out in person - In a tedious situation like this one, emailing or texting each other to work things out isn't always the best idea. Things are very easily miss-interpreted when written down and, again, can make things a whole lot worse. Although it might be a bit scarier, talk to their face instead of through a screen; it will probably have more effect as well.
I hope you guys liked this post and found it helpful (maybe). I'm worried that I might run out of blog ideas soon, so if you have anything you want me to do a post for, be sure to let me know and I will try my best!
Lots of love, Little Robin